Hood's Homepage

I am wild about technology but not about technology run wild.  Technology must be focused by the citizen for the benefit of the citizen; it should seek to secure universal human rights and provide shelter, water, food, health, education, hope and freedom for all.  It is my belief that the sustainable city could provide the framework for the fulfilment of these basic human rights.

Rogers, R – Cities for a small planet

“empty vessels make the most noise”

This saying can be applied to architectural theory -

The glossy buildings with the flashing lights, high end technology and over complicated designs are simply screaming for attention!  But they are only skin deep, they have no texture, material, sense of place, atmosphere, human scale, sensitivity or quality.  They are immature and “flashy” – shouting for attention out of fear that they may go unnoticed. 

The best buildings sit quietly along side them, safe in “their knowledge” that those who know about good design, good architecture, and well thought out spaces for PEOPLE will notice them and ignore the “sexed up gloss” that some people call architecture.

Sunday 27th July 2008

We took a leisurely pace along the esplanade, admiring the view and enjoying the sun.

At Bowleaze Cove the smell of chips, salt & vinegar drifted up the hill and we stopped for a lunchtime break and treated ourselves.

Setting off on the Jurassic coast path at about 1pm the sun was at its hottest and the walking was slow! We strolled the winding track until we found an extensive area of trees and shrubs. Leaving our packs behind the crest of a small hill we scouted the area. Descending down two cliffs we found that the woodland was larger than we expected! Following a dried up river lead us to a clearing that had been coppiced by someone. Trees that had been felled had been left to rot, and by stacking them to one side we had a large space to call home for the next four days. Evidence of a previous camp fire suggested that someone before us had drawn the same conclusion – this was a good place to sleep! The fallen trees would provide us with an extensive fuel supply, and the pebbles of the beach were a mere 5 metres away, the sea was about 15 metres away – close enough to be handy, but not too close to be noisy or wet!

After a quick wash in the sea we spent the rest of the evening sat round the camp fire and chatting – catching up on old times. We kept the fire burning strongly to heat some pans of sea water, which we continuously topped up. A couple of hours later we had half a tin of fresh sea salt!

Monday 28th July 2008

The morning began at a leisurely pace with porridge cooked slowly over the smoky fire. After a filling breakfast I lay in the hammock to read two more chapters of Robert Ludlum’s “The Moscow Vector”.

At around mid day we walked east for a mile or two – in search of fresh water. We collected ten litres from “The Smugglers” pub, and then bought a few “treats” (potatoes and fresh milk!) in a small camping shop. On the way back we combed the beach looking for items for our camp – to make our stay more comfortable we found a ten litre plastic box, boards, feathers, and more drift wood.

On our return to camp a cup of tea was in order, while the water boiled I filled the plastic box with water – to use to top up the pans that were still heating salt water. We made a bench using the boards we found, and I sat down under a tree to write this Blog….

At about tea time some of the large rocks that we had used to prop the fire grill on began to crack! The heat of the fire had made some of the smaller stones crack, and we had removed them – but I was surprised that even the larger ones were breaking now! Quickly and cautiously we moved them away and rebuilt the walls of the fire using nothing less than clay (from a local landslide).

Dinner consisted of fried onion with broccoli and noodles, seasoned with garlic sauce and sea water, followed by a few whiskies. I added more large logs to the fire and set the pan to boil more water to make more sea salt to take home. Then I settled by the fire in my bivvy bag (aka survival bag) to sleep under the stars. Tree roots provided a comfortable rut in the ground, and I was confident that I would be warm and comfortable by the fire.

Tuesday 29th July 2008 I woke up at about 7AM, I had slept well during the night and the board that I had positioned to act as a wind breaker had worked well. The fire was out but I was warm and I rolled over to sleep for another couple of hours.

We made tea and coffee at around ten and shortly after it poured with rain! Taking cover in the tent I settled down to mend some stitching on my shoe.

The rain didn’t last long and when it was over I cooked a large pan of porridge for breakfast.

Later that day I built a new washing line to air out my sleeping bag and bivvy bag. Then I made a pretty impressive rope swing too!

We took a stroll to a local toilet about 2 miles away – to collect more fresh water (6 litres this time), we added water purification tablets this time, just top be on the safe side.

During the afternoon I settled on the hammock for half an hours sleep. The moved to the swing, which provided a good seat for reading, after that I found a grassy knoll to sit and write this Blog…

We arrive on thursday after a one hour train journey and a one and a half hour coach journey. The traffic was bad but at least the fire engines made it more entertaining! A local scrap yard had caught fire, and being the conspiracy theorist that i am I made up a crazy story - maybe the scrap merchant had purposefully caught fire to his waste - knowing that the fire engines would never reach him in time to put it out because of all the traffic jams around glastonbury festival! Clever way of getting rid of your waste material "accidently" huh?!

Anyway! Thursday night and we saw the Levellers, they were good, but not amazing. They did make the hair on the back of my neck stand up for a few of their tunes though! Definately a good way to warm up for the nights to come.

Friday: The rain that began late Thursday night was still hammering down, and the weather didnt look like changing. By 8am the site was a quagmire, and everyone was booted and suited as if we were going to see another very wet glastonbury! :-( We wandered the green fields and the alternative areas, catching some comedy at the theatre stage. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbFOEdIoGEs

The young knives at the John Peel stage were good, but the weather somewhat spoilt our enjoyment of them. The rain that had been pouring for a full 24 hours did not dampen our spirits but it just made us tired - making it impossible to sit down we purchased a fold up chair and stool, which were immensely useful. Though even sitting down for half an hour was not a lot of comfort as we soon began to get wet (again)

After this we saw the fun loving criminals, they were amazing and seeing scooby snacks performed live was a moment to remember! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmFagJ2nI84

We walked past "the queens head" and stopped for 10 minutes to see kate nash... she was pretty good, and the setting that the stage offered suited her style perfectly. a great artist.

At about 11pm we headed over to the other stage to see Panic at the Disco. They were ok, but their new music seemed to have lost it way somewhat,... they didnt even deserve the effort of a digital video recording. So we moved over to Fatboy Slim at the dance village. Fatboy slim was good, but again - not amazing. The "new" layout to the dance village meant that the previous HUGE 6 post dance tent had been replaced by two 4 post tents. This didnt do fatboy slim any justice, and the huge crowd that he deserved was lacking. Saying that if we had managed to get inside the tent our experience would have much improved!

so over the track to the new stage called the "G Stage" and I was mightily impressed! I would describe it as a replacement for the previous "radio one stage". it is a small stage with an overhang,,, which is clearly designed to protect the millions of lazer beams and smoke machines! This is a stage withe a field- its back to basics! 4 large stacks of speakers provide an impressive level of base to get any true raver dancing, even if it was still raining! We danced to the Stanton warriors, who did some amazing remixes of prodigy and pendulum! This was one of my main highlights of the whole festival, and I am a true stanton warriors fan now! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xh1KWBJKuio

Saturday began in much the same way - damp, wet, but not cold. A quick fire and we were eating baked beans on toast,,, if somewhat soggy they provided the energy necessary to brave the treck to the smelly toilets. By about 11 the sun had come out and cheers were coming from every tent in our field! It was sunny, ! the whole festival would not be a damp, wet, mouldy piss up after all!

we headed down to the pyramid stage for the first time (properly) and chilled out to seasick steve. he was awesome, and i was very impressed! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUHLtzKwC30

then we hot footed it the length of the site to catch the half hour of the wurzles, only to be bitterly disapointed to hear the last fading beats of their sound.,... they ended half an hour early :-(

later that afternoon we watched james blunt (also on pyramid stage), who was suitably good. his words have meaning, and he sings with passion. it was impressive to see him perform live.

the evening began in as much a chilled out way as the previous evening had - we sat down to listen to elbow, who were suitably "hair raising" (the back of my kneck again)... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR1PTGcZ-3A then we saw the start of hot chips set, and moved back to the pyramid stage..

on our way there was the cumpolosory 15 minute rave at the glade http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2g-XSgw8EJ4 then we reluctantly moved on....

as saturday evening began to get warmed up to watched amy winehouse for a few tracks. she began well, but we left quite soon as her performance went swiftly down hill. i was less than impressed, and was glad that i had not missed seeing someone else just so i could see her!

because we left winehouse early we fitted in another half hour rave session at the (now favourite) g stage... we saw sub focus do a DJ set, and i was (again) suitabley impressed... i look forward to seeing them at fabric again!

back to the other stage we saw massive attack who were pretty good! the low emitting bass sounds were like a homing call to me, and i basked on the glory of the deep music

the night ended with an impressive set by kosheen at the dance east tent... then we moved to dance west tent, to see the audio bullys ... it was pretty cool to see them playing the tunes i love - live!

sunday: the sun is still out and we are really tanning well now (or is it dirt!?)...

we stmbled on down the hill, now feeling well at home and grotty! over to the glade for a "quick wake up call" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUAyZRJ9nhk

then we headed up to the park (a new area to me)....

Newton faulkner was a great way to kick off the live music ... his tunes mean something, and are sung with love. he is an original artist who should go far :-)

we stopped by at neil diamond at the pyramid stage... he did some good tunes but it was not floating our boat - we wanted to seeGoldfrapp! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLby5rqwdtE Goldfrapp were amazing, truly a moment to remember. we sat and chilled to their whole set, and then even stayed for part of leonard cochen (maybe we were a bit toooo chilled! LOL)

to get the party started we saw the zutons. by now fires were blazing acorss the campsite as people collected wood, paper cups and card. the whole place turned into some sort of romantic fairytale. the evening was cold, so we "fire hopped" (moving from fireplace to fireplace) while listening to the zutons. the paper cup fires keeping us suitably warm...

we walked over to UNKLE who were playing at ten thirty. we got there early and managed to see annie mac and die & clipz. annie mac was amazing, and even though she has played fabric quite often i have never managed to see her live - lets just say that the next time she is on at fabric i will be first in the queue! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoGXzKSs920 unkle was impressive, i loved the lighting and the video effects used... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPN-gKZFSUw sadly unkle was a bit of a comedown after the up tempo tunes of the previous acts

to get back into the party mode we stopped by at the g stage (again!) to see part of caspa and ruskos set.... and i must say, as a true dnb fan these guys were pretty darn good!

sunday night ended with an amazing light show by groove armada. they certainly finished the event in style! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKqwpzOjEsY

well i must say it was a very chilled out festival, and a definate moment to go down in history. we managed to traverse the site well, and see every corner imaginable! NEXT time we must visit the only areas we missed this year - those were: the kidz field, the cinema, and the Shangri La.....

June is getting very exciting, yesterday I booked a return flight to Moscow! Uni is getting pretty tough now, not becuse its hard, or difficult, because there is too much of it to do in too little time! Its not like i dont put th hours in either! im working between 14 and 16 hours a day... theres just so mush to draw/built/write/design!

thats partly why i booked my trip, i need something to reward myself with!

basicly my summer plan is:

JUNE: week off - chilling - build earth oven! fix bmx. one week in russiaweek rest (or HTID in the sun - spain,,, if it goes ahead!?). then 4 or 5 days at glastonbury festival (this will be the best weekend of 2008!).

JULY: bit more relaxed, save money, take photos, travel london. trip to paris (advaance eurostar ticket = £50) - stay with dave. pendulum in weymouth! clear my room out in weymouth and ebay all my old stuff! declutter my mums home! AUGUST: really scrimping and saving money now! tidy boys in weymouth. free party - NOTTING HILL CARNIVAL! wehey!

SEPTEMBER: trip to new york!

then uni begins again,,, well, i think i got enough planned, i cant wait to just get this work done and chill for a bit, think im losing more hair (not sure thats possible any more, i mean come on, its hardly fair, im 24 in a week!)

today has been a productive day, the 3 pieces of coursework that I began to tackle on monday morning are starting to come into fruition!

Curriculum vitae looking good, still needs "refinement", but i have taken the pressure off - and now I can work well :-) If I handed it in as it is, it would achieve 50% + so its done its job. I wont be applying for a real job for around 10 months, so thats enough time to improve it! I'm sure I will have learnt 2 or 3 new pieces of software by then too! University has taught me to begin thinking about what sort of architect I want to be - Anyone could apply for an architectural job and work on run of the mill housing projects, but I want to do something a bit more interesting than that. I accept that I have to work my way up, but my dissertation topic (brutalism, Le Corbusier, Modernism, urban regeneration and refurbishment) should help me point my career in the right direction. When I look back on my education my degree disertation was where I began thinking of this type of architecture. I wrote about town planning, multifunctional land use (MLU) and mixed land use. I was interested in landscaping, but this has evolved into cityscapes, masterplanning, and town planning. Now I am refining this subject, and focusing on one topic, and that is the regeneration of 60's and 70's buildings. At this moment in my life I think my ideal job would be something similar to urband splash (www.urbansplash.co.uk).

so the cv is looking good - as far as a piece of coursework is concerned, and the cover letter is done (awaiting comments from friends and family). sop i gave myself a break at 4 this afternoon! (I have been working every day 10am til midnight). I went out in the garden and began on the foundations for my earth oven! It was raining but I was motivated and had to get out of my room and away from coursework. Since monday i have not had nearly enough exercise, and I needed to treat my body to some hard labour! I found that half a meter down my garden turns into chalk and gravel (rubble from the old 70's blacks that used to grace this land)! Anyway, it was hard work, but I welcomed it :-)

last night I was even driven to go out on the BMX for some exercise, thats how many hours im spending sat in front of the PC, working on coursework! A BMX is great for working out anger, frustration, exercising, and genrally getting knackered in half an hour! 1am = no traffic! Jumps off every kerb and speed bump and hurling the piece of steel around for 30 minutes makes anyone tired I can tell you! Oh, found some more timber (old cladding!) for the formwork of the earth oven too.

right, thats enough for one blog me thinks- any longer and people get bored.

check back soon to learn all about the process of building with earth!

In my defence I have been busy! LOL,,,, anyway, enough with the excuses,...

As some of you may know, I intend to make something of my weBlogs, I hope their quality improves and you enjoy reading them more! Please DO leave comments, I need to know if what I do is good or bad! Ha Ha.... Anyway, one of the first changes you may notice is that my writing is less sloppy, I will try to use correct English and grammar/punctuation/spelling at all times. However, this does pose a problem. For a true weBlog to be personal, interesting, and natural it cannot be editing, or pre-meditated. So I guess this just means I have to be writing good English at all times! Great practice for my 10,000 word dissertation then!

The second thing I will alter will be headings - for a weBlog to be successful it should have easily searchable headings, otherwise no one is going to find my blog to be able to read it in the first place! LOL

Anyway, what have I been up to today, well, its been a weird, one, are you sitting comfortably? Let me elaborate: * Officially speaking us full time students are on a 3 week Easter Break now,,,, which means I have 3 pieces of coursework all due within 3 weeks, PLUS design work to do, so that makes 4! * I began the day well, jumping straight into writing a new and improved Curriculum Vitae. (is it possible to be NEW and IMPROVED?! YES, course it bloody is! Its not just an improvement, its such a big overhaul of an old product, that it has become a new one! But its still a CV! LOL). * Then I had the great idea of using a completely new piece of software to write the whole document - I have previously used Quark Express and Microsoft Publisher, so this time I decided to use Adobe Premiere (its another skill to add to the "toolbox").... Anyway, as always, installation is never simple! * Then a mate came over to help me with my digital project coursework, again - new software, this time I already have Adobe Premiere, but I want to branch out and use Adobe Aftereffects... This time there were major problems,,, and the short story is I wont be using After effects! * Anyway, back to the CV, and in re-writing it it has prompted me to learn some new pieces of software (I aim to be proficient in 2 pieces of software per category - so 2x 2D CAD, 2x 3D CAD, 2x publishing, 2x film editing, and 2x image editing). This gives me a greater chance of finding the job I WANT, when I leave university. After all, if you go to a new job with experience in multiple pieces of software it is far more likely that you will be given the oppurtunities to use them than if you had no prior knowledge of the software (not many companies are convinced that spending money to send you training is a good idea!). If I want to make films, visualisations, physical models, and CGIs for a firm I need examples of what is possible - to convince them that what I have they need!

today has been a very satisfying day, I have re-written my whole cv in a new format (a3 that folds to a4 and a5 and is stil readable at each size) using a brand new piece of software. The results are very "me", a lot more sleek, slick, and smart, and all in all, a lot more professional than any other CV I have produced, I will sleep well tonight - dreaming of a dream job, building (physical) models, regerating 70's concrete megastructures, and producing films to win competitions....

ahhhhhh :-D

it was nice to chill out, watch some tv, watch a film, eat curry and drink wine :-) it was good to chat random shit and get drunk. i even played some squash which made a nice change....

but has it left me rejuvinated and refreshed ready foe the onslaught of work? NO!

it was a nice time away, only 2 days, but all it has done is made it difficult for me get back into the swing of things after having 36 hours off! it was nice spending time with friends, but it seems to have made my "situation" in london worse not better! i had been feeling lonely in january, i got over that, moved on and was feeling fine. i made plans to see friends this weekend, next weekend, and to hopefully have people come to stay in feb (to go to fabric).... i came to the conclusion that socialising with colleagues will be a series of irregular "one offs", i rarely socialise with my house mates, and my two best friends from london have now both left.... this means that i do not have a regular group of people to meet up with, but i do have irregular events,,, this does not give me "friendship security",.,, if that makes sense? by going away at th weekend it just reminded me that i dont have a small group of people in london to see regulary (even just if its an hour a week to chat or have a pint)...

next weekend i will go and see more good friends..

i never thought this would happen but i do genuinely feel lonely! i have always had ONE close friend in my life, who lives in the same town as me,,,, last year i socialised with my house mates, and my gf came to london regulary. but now that my house mates have moved away, my other close friends in london have all left, and my gf is now my ex i dont see any "good" friends regulary....

i feel sad and upset, but not "normal" upset... its a kind of ache, a longing,

i just want to know i have a "best" friend who i can talk to or see on a regular basis...but i dont

:-(

this time last week i was optimistically awaiting the weekend, thinking that a certain someone has changed for th better, i gave them a second chance - for them to make ammends. i let her back into my life,, and she messed up big time! what can i say, i thought i "MIGHT" have feelings hidden under the bad memories, but alas, it was not to be. all i feel now is anger, mainly at myself for giving her a second chance. i feel stupid to have done so, i have learnt from this. most of the time PEOPLE DONT CHANGE....

a lot of mis-truths have been revealed to me, and all i will say is that i know more than some people think! i have done for a long time(years), and its been interesting to pick between the stories, to read between the lines, and to draw conclusions from things NOT said.... i am no stupid mug, she may have treated me like one, but she doesnt know what i know! ;-) i am not going to spoil the surprise and reveal all here, where would be the fun in that! i will simply say i hoped she could change, she proved she cant, and left me an angry person for letting her have another chance to spend time with me.....

after that "final voicemail" left by me there has been complete silence, i havent thought of her once, and it has not fazed me at all, i was glad to put her in my past, and this time there will be no second chance. i am lucky to have "got out" before i got attached.... communication has ended, FOR GOOD .... no matter how much grovelling she does this time, there is nothing she can do to earn any respect from me,,, SHE CANT have the right to spend time with me, hear my voice ever again, or take please in any kind of conversation with me!

i am better than her, i am not big headed, but i know the language people use, and when they dont make sense i can read between the lines, i can do 2+2 ......

all i will say, is that this week has been uplifting:

gardening, new movie making, new skills learnt, a weekend away to look forward to, my presentation went very well today, and i feel refreshed... i am optomistic for the future, i eagerly await fabric a the end of february, i rema of glastonbury tickets, and i am thinking of notting hill even though its stil 7 months away! i look forward to the summer, i have decided i wil spend it reworking old projects for an ultimate portfolio (for when i am next job hunting). also photography and cinematogrophy will feature highly this summer, so stear clear if you are camera shy! only joking, i will be concentrating on movie production (also for my portfolio),,,, and i intend on making some "wallace and grommit" style videos, using lego men, and architectural models! who says you ever have to grow up!? it is my opinion that a dvd that explains an architectural prject or design is the next new thing in an "architects toolbox"... i may not be able to create the ultimate sexy & seductive image some people can, but by making interesting moving pictures with an enthusiastic soundtrack i believe i can build up a very strong portfolio!who DOESNT like watching a film!???

let the summer commence!

http://www.youtube.com/user/markrobinhood1984

http://community.dcmag.co.uk/photos/hoods_gallery/default.aspx

if you want to go to glastonbury festival sign up for tickets - http://www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/news.as px?id=1893.

(i may point out last year 6 MILLION people signed up for only a quarter of a million tickets! SIGN UP NOW if you even only want to go ONCE in your lifetime!)

hmmm, a recent conversation with a friend in london made me realise a few things about my recent events, as some of you will know i met up with someone on thursday,,,, today when i was asked about my thoughts I was partially surprised by my answer. i guess i knew all along what i was thinking, but when i voiced these thoughts they were confirmed… most of you wont know what the hell im on about, but for me, this blog and discussion will help me clear my mind and realise a few things....

what did i REALLY think of thursday? I think up until now maybe I have known how I WANT myself to feel, but not how i actually felt.... all I know is im confused about my feelings, ah wel, I think the weekend will confirm my feelings… watch this space, the weekend is only 5 days away :-D

im looking forward to it, dont get me wrong!

"ideal jacket" has become a phrase, and expression for me... long ago me and a best friend searched for "ideal jackets".. over time we had extablished in our imagination what an ideal jacket would be like - what style of buttons, the material, what colour, was it smart, comfy, new , old, worn in and rough and ready, or light weight and delicate?

Anyway! My "idea jacket" had to have an inside pocket, it also needed pockets for hands - when cold, and a pocket or two on the breasts for pens/lighters etc. It needed to be thick enough to withstand drunken falls, but thin enough to use in the summer. it was the idea all year round coat, fit all occasions, smart yet rough, light yet warm. Anyway after day dreaming of this jacket for a year i finally found what i thought truly was "the idea jacket"... it was stripped cord / denim, with all the above characteristics... that was in about february 2004..... four years ago..

over time, i have changed, the jacket is no longer perfect .. it fits, it is not worn out, its just not "me" any more...I have not worn it in 18 months, and this has made me realise that I have a new criteria now,,,, that was me then, this is me now,,,,,

the reason i am giving you all of this background information is because my search for an "ideal jacket" is much the same as my search for my "ideal woman",,,, i have in my mind a list of characteristics that she should have....

2 or 3 times in my past i thought i had found my "idea woman", but i realise now, that even if she had ticked a lot of the boxes at that moment in time, now i look back,, she was not quite PERFECTLY suited to me... i now know EXACTLY what i want in life, what she should be like

in my mind i know what my "idea jacket" should be like, in the same was as i know what my "idea woman" would be like,,, the problem is, that as i grow older and change, does she?

my criteria for my "idea woman" has altered over the years, different things have moved up and down the list, or even off the list, different things have become important. as time goes by, in my mind i an reinforcing what she should be like, i can imagine what she would do or say, i can picture the sort of person she would be.... i am refining the type of person that would suit me right down to th ground.... i have realised what is important in life,,, now, the last part of the puzzel is to find "that idea jacket"...

if i spend too long imagining "that idea jacket",,when i find it it will never be able to live up to my expectation. My imagination will have reinforced and refined the specicfication soo much that whatever I find will never quite be "perfect"..

at this moment in my life, the characteristics of my idea woman are: (NOT in order of preference) * I have to be able to make her laugh

* doesnt have to be overly intelligent, but must be interesting and be able to have good conversations. I tend to find that anyone that has studied for a degree OR has the capability to do so will also have the mentality that I require - able to discuss deep issues, and also able to chat about "random shit"

* likes wine

* high sex drive

* enjoys watching films

* enjoys reading, then we can discuss novels we have read, and reccommend them / share them

* if I do something wrong, she would tell me - then i can learn (eg not do the typical "yea im fine" when clearly the girl is not!)

* loves me for who I am and doesn't want to change me - this is not to say that the both of us would not grow and change togther!

* will tell me when somethng is wrong, trusting, open and honest

* will support me in whatever I do, whether it be designing my own home, to planning a joint holiday, it is important that i have the support of my woman - as a team we could achieve anything!

* has a lot of energy and is enthusiastic/passionate about what they do in life

* happy with her life and body, this does not mean that she thinks her body is perfect, but it does mean that if she is unhappy about something in her life - she is doing something about it to change, or she is accepting it, doing neither is a downward spiral to unhappiness and self hate - i cannot love someone who does not love themselves

* adventurous, like camping/festivals / live music / carnivals/ drum n bass or/& travelling

* likes to try new things and experiment

* enjoy cooking, and maybe even helping with the gardening!

* creative / imaginative

* interested in my career/hobbies eg photography, architecture. drawing, gardening, designing, learning about new things

* passionate about her career or education

* will put energy and effort into the relationship

* confident, but not cockey. independant to a certain extent - eg when we both want to do our own thing. personal space is important , as is spending time togther.not too clingy or needy - NOT insecure

* dark hair

* not skinny, nice bum/waist/hips

*opinionated - this is not to say my opinion must agree with hers. but she must know what she does or doesnt like - this provides stimulating and interesting conversation. it may even open me up to new ideas, or help me change the way i think... there is no point in having a partner who does everything i want to do and agrees with everything i want to say - i may as well spend all of my time on my own!

* kinky,,,, NO i wont divulge those details in my blog!

* slightly boyish,i tend to find a girl with one of two "bloke" traits is very interesting - for example a girl who is not afraid to get her hands dirty, maybe she enjoys cars or bikes, or doesnt mind gardening or enjoys PCs or something technical, whever the "trait" is, i am NOT attracted to girly girls!

- my old list of ideal characteristics was a lot more "shallow" and bassed around looks and surface level things, I know now exactly what I like and dont like,,,, (old list) - http://hood1984.spaces.live.com/lists/cns!84174B1C2D244F04!204/

http://hood1984.spaces.live.com/blog/

what can i say?

a lot has changed recently :-)

went on a "hot date" on thursday, it was a nice day out, good "breath of fresh air" just seeing th sites in london, no real agenda - a nice "day off" for me, and well deserved!

feelings and th way i was at xmas are completely different now. its like my life has turned around in th space of a month.

my uni work and project is trundling along well, its enjoyable, and not too strenuous ,, BUT,,, i expect it to step up a notch or three when next week i begin 3 new modules, eek! today i even managed to get some gardening down! i have decided spring has officiall begun,

its a great time of year, planting new seeds, and little pots all over th house that need watering, im hoping in th next few motnhs to have a hive of activity going on,,, i have prepared my home made compost, and pots etc, so the garden is all ready to be full of new plants :-)

i have the next 3 weekends all booked up with friends and im feeling very positive about life in general, lets hope the new intake of projects/uni work doesnt quash this new found energy

2) i am going to try and be as unspecific as possible because this is personal (this i wil try to do even harder than point one!) LOL

im confused about my feelings for someone, i need to repress the feelings, i need to move on but I cant. I need a clean slate - but this is real life, no one is given a clean slate, or even allowed to wipe the slate clean... as if i would want to do that?! i have no regrets and there is nothing i want to erase, but there are things i want to move on from, its been long enough now, and if i carry on like i am, i will be living in someone elses shadow, i will be "the little lost puppy" ,, who does not even have a master to follow.. i would be following someone i want to be my master not someone who is willing to be my master...

feelings are uncontrolable, but my influences on them can have an effect. i need to see the world in a different light, and think about my future.

i am fed up with full time education now, i feel it is holding me back. i have been in full time education for 21 years now... one of those years was a professional year out (working full time), but even during that time i lived with students, was offically rated as a full time student, and was required to do 4 "pieces of work" for university, and even go to university for 3 days....

I want to be independant of my requiements for university, i want to do my 37.5 hours per week - in an office and then go home (no responsibilities) - to a house where i do things for me,,,not for a tutor. i want my house to be where i spend time with my friends, not my books, pens and computer.

this sounds like the sort of thing an old man would say, but i want a regular routine (9 til 5 is nice when you adjust to the sleep pattern!)...i want some money i can call my own, i would like to settle down.. i dont know where to call home any more. weymouth WAS my home town, but i have been away from there for so long now that it cannot be classed as my home and it definately does not feel like my home either. plymouth felt like home when i lived there - in a house for 3 years, but i have been away from plymouth now. when i go back to plymouth i feel like a stranger to somehwhere that i spent 4 years of my life. i dont feel welcome any where any more.

even london does not feel like my home - i have been here 17 months. it is such a big place it is hard to make friends. everyone has their groups of friends, and the vast majority of people are not open to new friendships - this is a city where everyone becomes cold towards others they dont know, it is a natural human insticnt to blank out the human contact overload that happens on a daily basis.... i know, i am guilty of it myself.

my small collection of best best best friends are spread across the country, there is not one town where i can go and be in the company of 2 good friends at the same time. if i want to meet up with a group of friends it involves 2 or 3 people travelling to the other one person. i long for the days when my group of friends were mainly in one place. i long for ONE best friend that is not a train journey away

i am beating myself up about all of these issues, and that makes things evern worse. how am i suposed to deal with issues in my life if i am working against myself?

i admit that my past relationship was more special, more amazing, and better than any other i have had before. i am guilty of not wanting to let go. and i am taking me time to move on... this has never happened to me before, and i think that since i have moved to london i have become more sensitive to such issues. this is one excuse anyway, the fact that the relationship was very very good could be the other reason! LOL

london is such a cold place, when you do have contact with a friend or even anyone you know, you tend to clutch onto it (the friendship -the friendly human contact) with both hands, or else be swept off into the tide of cold staring eyes and unfriendly people.... and lose them,,,,, londod has effected me in many good ways, and i dont want to leave (yet anyway!)... but it seems to be making me a reclusive, cold, unfriendly person...

i need to move on, decide what i want to do with my life, and rebuild certain aspects of it, for they have truly been razed to the ground in the last 3 months

i need to take control of my life, instead of my course controling it. if i contonue to spend too much time on my project work and my university work i will push possible new friendships away, and become lonely and unhealthy.i need more ME time, but i am a workaholic, i require someone to TELL me to take time out... i need to socialise and exercise...

these are all things that are easier said than done, i may need some good friends now more than ever before...

2007 saw the death of both my grandmothers in the space of 30 days... it was hard, but it was understandable, i could deal with it, i knew what had happened and i understood it.

my current situation is new to me, i dont understand it, and it strikes fear into me, i dont know what to do, where to go, or how to deal with "things".... this is new, i admit, i feel ashamed to be feeling like this, i feel weak and pathetic,,,

i may be seeking YOU out soon,,, dont expect me to seem any different than my normal self.. but inside me , i am not my normal self. i just need to see some friends- to talk to, and give myself regualr breaks and changes of scene.

if you havent heard from me for a week, please do drop me a line, i might be hiding away from the world- to see if burrying my head in the sand makes the problem go away. i am predicting i wil do this, because i know myself well enough to expect this is something i will attempt, please, make me socialise....

anyywa thats not what this blog is about, this blog is about what i got up to over those 15 days in weymouth! :-D

sunday 23rd

i cycled to osmington, it was not too cold, but the mud was pretty thick, i went to redcliff bay (my favourite beach spot) and then down into osmington proper. i met some cows and slowly overtook them, 6 inch deep thick mud! see my facebook photos! after that up onto the white horse and over the top to bincome... all in all a pretty nice ride. total 13 miles

monday 24th

i rode to upwey and met my dad, we took the dog up the track (past the hairpin) and all along th ridge to hardys monument... some pretty good trails up there! dad struggled to keep up - mainly because the bike he was using (my brothers!) was absolute shite! constantly being battered by th wind too - which makes balance even more difficult, haha! total 18 miles

wednesday 26th - boxing day

went to meet a friend, and hit the shops! looking for bargains and an exchange for my TWO guinness belts i got given! haha cheers guys ;-) debenhams was pretty rammed, and all their sale items they had left were pink, so in the end i exchanged th belt for a voucher. then up to the buffs club for beers and buffet after. met others and back into town , which, for me turned into a spur of the moment night out- and a bloody good one at that! we went to banus (i have been there ONCE since it was called banus, and once when it was called malibu)... i have never been a fan of the club, but after this night i most definately am! they had three rooms (dont ask me where the third room was i didnt even know it existed!).. in the main room was hard house :-D drum n bass :-) and jungle :-s !!!!!!!!! my christmas dream had come true, raving with my best friend - in weymouth... and her "beefy boys" crew! awesome! fair enuff the club chargers £5 entry - which is about £3 too much for what it is.. but it was a good night.. slightly sparse on the no of ravers, but this is weymouth and i dont expect a massive DnB following down there! some mental dancing was conducted on all fronts, especially by the star catcher BIG UP! wooop wooop ... ... ... any way it was like being back at wildchild or something, good rave, good music, best friend ;-)

wednesday 27th

met up with a coupld of mates and bummed around town, eventually ending up in a mini pub crawl (3 of us - 3 drinks, 3 pubs).... then i went to my dads, and drank vintage cider at his local, at his expense, perfect :-)

friday 28th

went to a friends and drank red wine til 5 am,,, then listened to hardcore dnb on my headphones while dancing my way home, top night!

saturday 29th went for coffee and food with an old friend, good to see her again as we had drifted a bit recently.

saturday night i randomly went into town to see a friend, we ended up wandering around various pubs and places, meeting people and generally just chatting. i must say it was actually a very nice night, reminded me of my time with her in london :-D we walked to th end of the pier, where the view was amazing. the moon was really really low, and looked like it was perched on the cliffs. it was a half moon, and slightly slanted, it threw a shimmering glare across the sea - all i can say is i wish i had had my camera and tripod! it was actually, even romantic (if i may say that?)! then we went and sat in a beach challet,, which was, what can i say - amusing, haha, hope that crazy guy found his son! cheers (you know who you are) for a spur of the moment fun night out :-D

sunday 30th - went for coffee and food with an old friend. good to catch up with him - havent seen him in ages

sunday night i met my best m8, she needed to get out of the house. it was just like the old days in london (excpet in weymouth!)... even tho the circumstances were not great, the evening was, it was a spur of the moment tour of weymouth by moonlight. we sat n chatted in the bird watching hut at the nature reserve, walked along the beach, and round town, generally just "seeing the sights at night" - which is something i really love to do. by about midnight we were both starving, having not eaten any dinner. so we went to surfside diner - just for chips cheese and beans ... which turned into a feast! we sat outside ali gardens, and in her words not mine had a romantic 3 course dinner under the stars! :-D it consisted of battered mushrooms (you should have seen the grease pour out of them!). onions rings, and a basic pizza, which was surprisingly nice. then we went for a drink at the classy joint otherwise known as dorset fried chicken (formerly - choices!).... we needed somenthing acidic and fizzy to cut through th grease. all in all, a very memorable and enjoyable evening, thanks - you know who you are.

new years eve began as it was meant to go on, (see facebook photos!) i got up at 3pm :-) and went to a friends to get ready - we drank asti, and red wine, and got ready, the outfits were impressive, and considering we had no idea what eachothers costumes would look like, they complimented eachother really well! mine was black with studs and piercings, and yellow trim, hers was black with french frilly bits - and pink trim! just like the wildchild dayz - but GOTH style! big up to the cyber goths ;-) into town and we met the beefy boys.... it was downhill from there on! hope square for midnight, where we promptly lost everyone in the crowds (surprise surprise!).... but it didnt matter, i was there with my best friend in the world, and that is what counted. a cheeky kiss at midnight sealed the night, and it was back into the fray to find everyone! saw by brother, stole his beer :-) saw lots of old school friends, then back to yates, where i met a friend dressed as a penguin! at the site of two goths advancing on him, he jumped the balcony and fled! its ok, we are friendly happy goths! (do they exist, or do they all want to DIE?!?!) ... anyway then it was off to dusk (inevitable!).. queueing at about 3am the night was only just getting started! we owned the upstairs and danced like fools, then back down intot eh crowds, where the dj was playing like it was 5am and he hadnt been asleep for 2 days (probably true!) - he was shite! but that didnt matter, a good night out is always defined by WHO you are out with, not where you are or whats playing. i was with my best friends and her crew - and they KNOW how to party :-).... when the dj was on form, he was rolling out some phat hard house, and i took the oppurtunity to dance like a loon.! 8am came, and the sunrise was more than impressive! the first sunrise of 2008 was one to remeber.

tuesday 1st - 2008 WOOP WOOP!

spent the whole day monged. we all sat round chatting shit, and taking th miss - just general banter. went home at 7pm.... having being awake for 30 hours, and drunk for 12 of that it was high time i caught some shut eye. dreaming happy dreams of my best new years ever, i slept until mid day the next day - content in the knowledge that my new years eve events would get better each year from this year onwards - and all due to one particular person ;-) (again - she knows who she is - she MADE that night out, cheers)

wednesday 2nd

sat round chatting shit with the beefy crew again.... i do enjoy days like these, no courseowrk to worry about, nothing to get up for. just spending time with mates, films, and ,,, ,, herbs. i wil say no more

thursday 3rd -

depressed today, for i leave for london, leaving my new friends, and best friends behind... london looms. but alas, i must re-attend university, only a few months to go now,,,, just one final project.. to my mates - thanks for a great christmas, without you i would have had a truely lonely and boring time!

i applogise in advance if i become antisocial from this day onwards. please DO pester me to come out clubbing and raving, pleaase do come and stay even if i say i have work to do, please do TELL ME to stop working when i have been going 24 hours stright. its not good for me, and its not good for RAVE culture, the dancefloors miss me dearly when i work too hard! LMAO...

over and out (for now) hope to see you soon my friends ;-)

PS - please DO leave comments about this blog if you read it, i am interested to see how mnay followers i have! (back at plymouth there must have been 2 or 3 regular readers. wow!!!)